


Something Wrong

by musicals_musicals



Series: Bandstand Stuff [11]
Category: Bandstand - Oberacker/Oberacker & Taylor
Genre: Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, still pissed they didnt give him a name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-03 19:37:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15825579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicals_musicals/pseuds/musicals_musicals
Summary: Jimmy gets to kiss Johnny like he'd been waiting for. So why does it feel wrong?





	Something Wrong

 

They were sitting on Jimmy’s couch when it happened. They had been talking, about a subject Jimmy had since forgotten because Johnny was two inches from his face and staring at his lips. Even though he should have seen it coming Jimmy couldn’t help his surprise when Johnny leaned forward to kiss him. He kissed Johnny back. He had been wanting to kiss Johnny since they met. But something was off…

It felt wrong.

Jimmy didn’t want to pull away, so he wrapped his arms around Johnny’s waist and continued kissing him, though with less excitement. After a second Johnny pulled away, he could obviously tell something was wrong “I’m so sorry was that not okay? I should have asked- I can just go” Johnny tripped over the words and hastily stood up to back away from Jimmy.

“No- it wasn’t that” Jimmy couldn’t figure out how to phrase the thoughts that were spinning around his head, instead he settled on a simple “Please come back”

Johnny slowly sat back on the couch, leaving a noticeable distance between them “I get it if you don’t like me like that” Johnny promised, he sat on the edge of the couch, as though he would take off at any second “It’s okay”

“No please-” Jimmy shuffled closer to Johnny. He couldn’t stand the idea of Johnny leaving because he thought he was unwanted. “I can explain”

“Okay…” Johnny still looked unsure, but he took Jimmy’s lead and put his arm back where it was around Jimmy’s shoulders.

Jimmy immediately relaxed at the contact. Johnny was here. Johnny would let him explain. “I just- I had this boyfriend in the navy” Jimmy tried. He’d never actually told this story. Sure, people knew parts of it, but he wanted Johnny to know all of it. Johnny seemed a little confused, but he nodded along to show he was listening “I really liked- or no wait loved, I loved him. We met in boot camp-”

_A sparkling smile, face scrunched up in laughter. A casual arm thrown around Jimmy’s shoulder. Brief touches on his arms, his shoulder, even his face._

“-we were on the ship together” Jimmy brushed the memories out of his head. He needed to explain. Johnny needed to know. “We shared a room-”

_Less casual touches. Holding hands, arms around his neck. burning kisses every time they were alone. Curled up next to a warm body, in a cot barely meant for one person._

Jimmy didn’t realize he was crying until Johnny brushed tears off his cheek “You don’t need to tell me, I get it” Johnny promised

Jimmy shook his head and took a deep breath. He needed to do this. “He was from Columbus” Facts were easier, he could almost be talking about someone else “He had two sisters who he always wrote letters to”

_A double sided letter, the oldest sister on the front, the youngest on the back. Playful bantering about who got to use the good pencil. A letter forgotten on the table until morning._

“There was an attack. A submarine the radar missed” Jimmy continued. Johnny’s arm around him tightened, offering comfort and a reminder that he was safe. He wasn’t back on that boat. Jimmy was thankful for the comfort, it was the only way he could get through the story. “The entire boat shook and alarms sounded”

_A blast that knock him off his feet. Flashing lights. Shaking hands holding tightly to his shoulders. A final kiss, hurried and scared. “Jimmy go!”_

“We got separated- I let us get separated” Jimmy tightened his grip on Johnny’s hands “It was my fault”

“No it wasn’t” Johnny insited his shoulder rested on Jimmy’s shoulder “None of it was your fault”

“But it was” Jimmy couldn’t help the tears running down his face or the way his voice shook “We were holding hands, but I slipped- my hands were so wet, I couldn’t hold on”

_He was helping someone walk. A dark hallway. Water up to their knees. Panicked voices. “Jimmy you need to go now! Leave me!”_

“I made it outside and I was hoping he would be there- The boat was almost completely underwater. I was holding onto a piece of driftwood for hours” Jimmy could still remember the piercing cold, the feeling that he would never be warm again. He didn’t realize he was shivering until Johnny pulled the couch blanket on top of them.

_Watching the bodies float past. A cook, a nurse, the captain. Recognizing the golden blond hair he knew so well, face down in the water. Letting himself cry for the first time since the alarm sounded._

“He was dead” Jimmy finished lamely “That’s just- it’s all I could think of when you kissed me. I really thought I was ready, I really like you” Jimmy explained. He brushed his hand through Johnny’s hair with a small smile. That was over. He was safe. And Johnny was safe.

“I can wait” Johnny offered “We don’t have to be together now. I really like you too and I will wait until you’re ready”

“That sounds perfect” Jimmy let himself enjoy the idea of being with Johnny, until he was struck with a stab of doubt “Are you sure? That doesn’t really seem fair to you, we could just get together now…”

“You aren’t ready for that” Johnny could easily see through Jimmy’s feeble lie “Just tell me when you’re ready. I’ll be there until then, even if you’re never ready. I’ll stay”

“Thank you” Jimmy collapsed in relief. He face pressed against Johnny’s chest and he took the time to calm down and ward off any other tears. He had one more question, but it seemed silly to ask if they weren’t together…

“Do you want me to stay tonight?” Johnny asked, practically reading Jimmy’s mind.

“Please” The words were quiet, but Johnny understood.

“Do you want your bed?” Johnny asked “We can move”

Jimmy shook his head. He was exhausted, the thought of having to stand up made him want to cry. “Wait what about your back?”

“I’ll be fine” Johnny promised. Luckily Jimmy had a pretty nice couch “If you want to stay we can stay”

“Thank you”  _For everything._


End file.
